Augh.
I don't want to have to deal with everyone's little attitudes that have been going around lately. I haven't exactly been Miss Peachy lately, but I'm not thrusting my issues on you by yelling at you for trying to help me, delaying a study date for TWO HOURS for no reason and NOT TELLING ME ABOUT IT, acting jealous because hey, Jeni has a crush for the first time since she was thirteen years old, etc etc.
>.<
Just leave me alone for a little while, please. I'm tired of all the whiney, angry crap that people are throwing at each other and myself, and I'm not going to put up with it for much longer. Take a breath and chill, people. Sometimes life sucks. We all know it, so stop taking it out on me.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
so, I did this back in 2007, and I decided to do it again, just to see how much has changed.
1. What's a commonly used nickname people call you by? Jeni
2. What's your favourite color? Silver
3. What's your favourite food? Mashed Potatoes.
5. What's your favorite animal? Lion.
6. Biggest pet peeve? Spelling errors in books.
7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Anywhere and everywhere,
8. Do you cry easily? No.
9. Do you generally have a good, loving family? Yes.
10. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
11. Do you have many phobias? Just the one-needles.
12. Favourite genre of music? Anything that sounds good.
13. Are you a trendsetter, a trend follower, or do you dress originally? Originally, I suppose.
14. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes.
15. Do you like school? Right now, I'm all right with it.
16. Are you known to spend your money quickly? No.
17. What time is it right now? 11:43 pm
18. Are you on the computer a lot? Not anymore.
19. Pet hermit crabs- a good thing or a bad thing? If that's what you like,
20. Leftie or Righty? Right handed when I write, everything else I do with my left.
1. Do you have any scars/stretch marks, etc? What kind of question is this? Everyone has scars.
22. Do you have dull elbows or pointy elbows? Pointy.
23. Timmies or Starbucks? Timmies every time.
24. Do you have any sleeping problems? Itsometimes I have really big issues falling asleep and staying asleep. Actually, this is pretty frequent.
25. Are you a shy person? I can be.
26. Are you a gift-giver? I love giving gifts. (:
27. Warm or cold? Cold.
28. Do you like meeting new people? I'm better than I was, but I don't really like to do it, still.
My conclusion?
I'm a much happier person now than I was in 2007. I've had a lot of rough patches to work through, but I'm so, so much better off now than I was even a year ago.
1. What's a commonly used nickname people call you by? Jeni
2. What's your favourite color? Silver
3. What's your favourite food? Mashed Potatoes.
5. What's your favorite animal? Lion.
6. Biggest pet peeve? Spelling errors in books.
7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Anywhere and everywhere,
8. Do you cry easily? No.
9. Do you generally have a good, loving family? Yes.
10. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
11. Do you have many phobias? Just the one-needles.
12. Favourite genre of music? Anything that sounds good.
13. Are you a trendsetter, a trend follower, or do you dress originally? Originally, I suppose.
14. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes.
15. Do you like school? Right now, I'm all right with it.
16. Are you known to spend your money quickly? No.
17. What time is it right now? 11:43 pm
18. Are you on the computer a lot? Not anymore.
19. Pet hermit crabs- a good thing or a bad thing? If that's what you like,
20. Leftie or Righty? Right handed when I write, everything else I do with my left.
1. Do you have any scars/stretch marks, etc? What kind of question is this? Everyone has scars.
22. Do you have dull elbows or pointy elbows? Pointy.
23. Timmies or Starbucks? Timmies every time.
24. Do you have any sleeping problems? Itsometimes I have really big issues falling asleep and staying asleep. Actually, this is pretty frequent.
25. Are you a shy person? I can be.
26. Are you a gift-giver? I love giving gifts. (:
27. Warm or cold? Cold.
28. Do you like meeting new people? I'm better than I was, but I don't really like to do it, still.
My conclusion?
I'm a much happier person now than I was in 2007. I've had a lot of rough patches to work through, but I'm so, so much better off now than I was even a year ago.
/rant
It's been two years, and I thought I forgave her a while ago.
But now I know there will always be a little part of me who hates her. All it takes is a bit of memory to trigger it, and I realize that while I never want to be her friend again, I want to know what goes on in her life.
I miss her.
And this is the only place I can admit to that. It's what she doesn't know I have, this blog. And I don't want to tell anyone else.
I hate her, but I miss her. So much. But it will never be like it was...
Because she betrayed us, and for that, I forgive her, but I still hate her.
Because 13 years of friendship should have meant more to her than that. She shouldn't have dumped us and jumped on the pieces. She should have grown up and stopped being such a child. Not everything is an insult to you, you know.
You just thought it was.
But now I know there will always be a little part of me who hates her. All it takes is a bit of memory to trigger it, and I realize that while I never want to be her friend again, I want to know what goes on in her life.
I miss her.
And this is the only place I can admit to that. It's what she doesn't know I have, this blog. And I don't want to tell anyone else.
I hate her, but I miss her. So much. But it will never be like it was...
Because she betrayed us, and for that, I forgive her, but I still hate her.
Because 13 years of friendship should have meant more to her than that. She shouldn't have dumped us and jumped on the pieces. She should have grown up and stopped being such a child. Not everything is an insult to you, you know.
You just thought it was.
Friday, December 5, 2008
I went to a Journalism Conference at a campus near where I live today... If you don't know, I write for my school paper, and I love it. The people, the writing, knowing the information, the food...everything. My first story was about two new music venues opening up in my city, the second was about a club at school, and the one I just wrote is about President-elect Obama's appointments. I chose to write that one because a) it was the better of two options because I was sick the day we got our first and second choices, and b) I felt that I could just deliever the facts without being biased.
You know what? I did it. (: You can't tell what I think in it at all...although most already know how I feel about it...er, the people on the staff and some friends outside of it, anyway.
Work...school...friends....barn...theatre. That's my life. Allie and I are on running crew for the Complete History of America, Abridged with a great group of people, and I'm so excited for it. I'm not doing stage crew for the rest of the plays this year-I need to start getting Twende [and hopefully a Western Pleasure horse of my trainer's] ready for show season.
That's my baby. (: Twende Haraka - six-year-old Thoroughbred, ex-racer.
I went to a concert in October... Family Force 5... OH my. I'm pretty sure that was the most fun I've ever had at a concert. Second row, heck yes. (: It was amazing.
Hm... Nothing else to talk about, I think...
Kirstin-call me...text me...email me... I miss talking to you. ):...(:
-Jeni
You know what? I did it. (: You can't tell what I think in it at all...although most already know how I feel about it...er, the people on the staff and some friends outside of it, anyway.
Work...school...friends....barn...theatre. That's my life. Allie and I are on running crew for the Complete History of America, Abridged with a great group of people, and I'm so excited for it. I'm not doing stage crew for the rest of the plays this year-I need to start getting Twende [and hopefully a Western Pleasure horse of my trainer's] ready for show season.
That's my baby. (: Twende Haraka - six-year-old Thoroughbred, ex-racer.
I went to a concert in October... Family Force 5... OH my. I'm pretty sure that was the most fun I've ever had at a concert. Second row, heck yes. (: It was amazing.
Hm... Nothing else to talk about, I think...
Kirstin-call me...text me...email me... I miss talking to you. ):...(:
-Jeni
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I'm a Republican...so don't read if you don't want to.
Have you ever stopped to think how much EASIER life would be if we didn't care about politics?
I am not even old enough to vote. I know the issues, know what I stand for, know WHY I stand for them. And I had to watch it all unfold in my living room.
The good thing? We get another try in four years. Considering there's a United States of America in four years time.
Whatever.
Obama has my respect because of his position, and I will stand behind him because unlike some people, I am always proud to be an American.
I don't have to LIKE the guy, I just have to accept it and stand behind him and respect him.
Not that a lot of those who left Bush in the dirt even pretended to stand behind him or respect him in the least.
But I'm above that.
So I guess I'll just deal.
-Jeni
I am not even old enough to vote. I know the issues, know what I stand for, know WHY I stand for them. And I had to watch it all unfold in my living room.
The good thing? We get another try in four years. Considering there's a United States of America in four years time.
Whatever.
Obama has my respect because of his position, and I will stand behind him because unlike some people, I am always proud to be an American.
I don't have to LIKE the guy, I just have to accept it and stand behind him and respect him.
Not that a lot of those who left Bush in the dirt even pretended to stand behind him or respect him in the least.
But I'm above that.
So I guess I'll just deal.
-Jeni
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Mother Nature Stuns Ohioans
Remember Hurricane Ike ? I should hope so. It hasn't been that long ago. It hit Texas, yeah? Well, in case you are geographyly-challenged, here is
TEXAS
and here is
OHIO.
See the distance there? Remember that for a second as I tell you that Ohio got hit with what would be considered a level one hurricane on the coast. Remember the distance?...HOW does that WORK?
on Sunday, all day, we got hit by fierce winds, which knocked down trees, power lines, small children, and of course, the tomato plants out back. Our tree, which is sort of diseased and needs to be taken out but it is a lot to do so, had a limb fall off and fall not the right way, which would be into the yard, but right into our deck and my brother's window. Great. My neighbor's tree's branch broke off and fall into the sidewalk leading up to his house. He moves his cars from his driveway, and not twenty minutes later, the rest of his tree falls into the driveway. How's that for luck?
Being Ohioans, we never, EVER see anything like this. Example: There was a tornado siren going off in the spring/early summer. What was the very FIRST thing my family did? Went on the front porch to watch the storm. Now, in hurricane-like winds, what did we do? Go walk around the neighborhood, of course! I have never seen so much of my neighbors as I did on Sunday when we were all outside in the wind. I mean, this is saying something because I NEVER see any of them... Or talk to any them. But yeah.
It knocked out power to almost 300,000 people in my county alone, thankfully we only lost internet and cable [and power for like... a half hour] for two and a half days, because some people STILL don't have their power back. It also cancelled school for two days.
In all honesty, folks, it was quite amazing. I loved it. We even got to watch a hundred year old tree fall over because of the wind.
We never see these things, and now I can say to everyone I know, "I have lived through a hurricane."
-Jeni
TEXAS
and here is
OHIO.
See the distance there? Remember that for a second as I tell you that Ohio got hit with what would be considered a level one hurricane on the coast. Remember the distance?...HOW does that WORK?
on Sunday, all day, we got hit by fierce winds, which knocked down trees, power lines, small children, and of course, the tomato plants out back. Our tree, which is sort of diseased and needs to be taken out but it is a lot to do so, had a limb fall off and fall not the right way, which would be into the yard, but right into our deck and my brother's window. Great. My neighbor's tree's branch broke off and fall into the sidewalk leading up to his house. He moves his cars from his driveway, and not twenty minutes later, the rest of his tree falls into the driveway. How's that for luck?
Being Ohioans, we never, EVER see anything like this. Example: There was a tornado siren going off in the spring/early summer. What was the very FIRST thing my family did? Went on the front porch to watch the storm. Now, in hurricane-like winds, what did we do? Go walk around the neighborhood, of course! I have never seen so much of my neighbors as I did on Sunday when we were all outside in the wind. I mean, this is saying something because I NEVER see any of them... Or talk to any them. But yeah.
It knocked out power to almost 300,000 people in my county alone, thankfully we only lost internet and cable [and power for like... a half hour] for two and a half days, because some people STILL don't have their power back. It also cancelled school for two days.
In all honesty, folks, it was quite amazing. I loved it. We even got to watch a hundred year old tree fall over because of the wind.
We never see these things, and now I can say to everyone I know, "I have lived through a hurricane."
-Jeni
Friday, September 5, 2008
New School Year
I started school on the 28th of August. My schedule;
1. AP Environmental Lab
Yes. A lab the VERY first thing in the morning. So far, we haven't done a thing,but the up side to this is that I get to sleep in three days a week and come in normal time the other two. We only have a lab period twice a week which is pretty much amazing.
2. AP US History
I had this teacher last year, only in an Honors course instead of an AP one. He's awesome. As much work as it's going to be, I love this class already. There is no REASON for me to like him. He's pretty much the same day after day... Lecture, reading, in class essay, fill out a chart, start over again. The monotony usually drives me mad. I'm way too... "in motion" for classes like this, in general. But this man's dry sense of humor and the fact that he seems to have an unending stream of knowledge makes me love this class and this teacher again this year... Except for the 50 ID cards I have due by sometime within the next two weeks.
3. AP Environmental Science
This is the class/lecture part of my AP science course. The teacher is fun-he tells stories [though too many, at times], he gives you enough time to finish the work, he realizes when things aren't going to get done. My older sister had him when she was a junior. Only thing, he isn't really teaching this class as an AP class, which means no AP credits for Jeni when the time comes to take the AP test. Oh well, so far, so good with class work, anyway.
4. AP Brit Lit
My summer reading project was sixteen pages long... It only HAD to be a page for each essay, and there were six, hence my paper could have been six pages. But me? Keep it short? Never. We finished Beowulf already and wrote a paper and took a test. I adore this teacher. She's so much fun. Made Beowulf interesting by making the class read aloud in British accents. Next up: Orthello.
5. Lunch
I have two groups of friends at lunch, neither of which know or hang out with each other. I switch back and forth.
6. Media Productions
I have this class with Gabby, and it's all right so far. It's a newer, revamped version of Radio and TV, but that also means that it's no longer a blowoff. We already have our groups for the first project, which is pretty much a tester with the cameras, and now that my group got changed, I'm very happy with how I have. Mark is good at doing the camera things, and Adam, Gabby, and I can act. It'll go over pretty well, I'd bet.
7. Algebra 2
The bane of my existence. I have the same lady I had last year, and even then, I couldn't take her. Today, I passed the period by doodling and such and not paying attention at all. It's not like she's going to teach me anything this year. Look how well geometry with her went.
8. Journalism II
Perfect way to end the day. Our school paper. I love the class. We haven't done too much for the first edition yet, but we're starting Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm excited.
Did I forget to mention that five of these classes are with Allie, who is my best friend? That's also exciting. So far, I'm really pretty excited for this year. With theatre, the paper, Be the Change club, recycling club [which I am a part of only out of obligation and love of a friend who started it], and Horizons [our school's literary magazine] this year should be busy and fun.
The problem?
Things at home are a bit...out of whack. Money wise. I hate money.
Just have to take one day at a time, I suppose. Sometimes it sucks not being able to know what's going to happen, doesn't it?
On a happier note, at my last show with Twende, we got our first ever blue ribbon! EVER. That is HUGE. I was so proud of him. He went from being a bucking race horse to my little-er, large hunter-jumper.
The weather here has been so muggy. Well, it was sunny for two or three days, and now it's raining a lot again. Typical Ohio weather for you.
Anyway, it's almost midnight, and I'm bushed.
Jeni
1. AP Environmental Lab
Yes. A lab the VERY first thing in the morning. So far, we haven't done a thing,but the up side to this is that I get to sleep in three days a week and come in normal time the other two. We only have a lab period twice a week which is pretty much amazing.
2. AP US History
I had this teacher last year, only in an Honors course instead of an AP one. He's awesome. As much work as it's going to be, I love this class already. There is no REASON for me to like him. He's pretty much the same day after day... Lecture, reading, in class essay, fill out a chart, start over again. The monotony usually drives me mad. I'm way too... "in motion" for classes like this, in general. But this man's dry sense of humor and the fact that he seems to have an unending stream of knowledge makes me love this class and this teacher again this year... Except for the 50 ID cards I have due by sometime within the next two weeks.
3. AP Environmental Science
This is the class/lecture part of my AP science course. The teacher is fun-he tells stories [though too many, at times], he gives you enough time to finish the work, he realizes when things aren't going to get done. My older sister had him when she was a junior. Only thing, he isn't really teaching this class as an AP class, which means no AP credits for Jeni when the time comes to take the AP test. Oh well, so far, so good with class work, anyway.
4. AP Brit Lit
My summer reading project was sixteen pages long... It only HAD to be a page for each essay, and there were six, hence my paper could have been six pages. But me? Keep it short? Never. We finished Beowulf already and wrote a paper and took a test. I adore this teacher. She's so much fun. Made Beowulf interesting by making the class read aloud in British accents. Next up: Orthello.
5. Lunch
I have two groups of friends at lunch, neither of which know or hang out with each other. I switch back and forth.
6. Media Productions
I have this class with Gabby, and it's all right so far. It's a newer, revamped version of Radio and TV, but that also means that it's no longer a blowoff. We already have our groups for the first project, which is pretty much a tester with the cameras, and now that my group got changed, I'm very happy with how I have. Mark is good at doing the camera things, and Adam, Gabby, and I can act. It'll go over pretty well, I'd bet.
7. Algebra 2
The bane of my existence. I have the same lady I had last year, and even then, I couldn't take her. Today, I passed the period by doodling and such and not paying attention at all. It's not like she's going to teach me anything this year. Look how well geometry with her went.
8. Journalism II
Perfect way to end the day. Our school paper. I love the class. We haven't done too much for the first edition yet, but we're starting Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm excited.
Did I forget to mention that five of these classes are with Allie, who is my best friend? That's also exciting. So far, I'm really pretty excited for this year. With theatre, the paper, Be the Change club, recycling club [which I am a part of only out of obligation and love of a friend who started it], and Horizons [our school's literary magazine] this year should be busy and fun.
The problem?
Things at home are a bit...out of whack. Money wise. I hate money.
Just have to take one day at a time, I suppose. Sometimes it sucks not being able to know what's going to happen, doesn't it?
On a happier note, at my last show with Twende, we got our first ever blue ribbon! EVER. That is HUGE. I was so proud of him. He went from being a bucking race horse to my little-er, large hunter-jumper.
The weather here has been so muggy. Well, it was sunny for two or three days, and now it's raining a lot again. Typical Ohio weather for you.
Anyway, it's almost midnight, and I'm bushed.
Jeni
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Mehhh
Summer is coming to a rapid close, and I have yet to finish my summer reading projects for my AP Brit Lit class... Just two books and six papers left... Yeah.
We go to pick up our schedules tomorrow morning, and to be honest, I'm not that excited. For me, the school year is just a long, drawn out period of time that either flies by or drags its feet the whole way. I'm just not the biggest fan. I have a car now, which means that Allie and I will no longer have to take the bus, which is something that will put a smile on my face, and we have to lug my brother and his friend along, too... They'll be freshmen.
But anyway, aside from that, things are good.
Took Twende to the fair, and came away with three fourth places, a sixth, and a third. Not bad. At all. I was VERY happy with him. I was worried for the first day or two, though, thought he was getting sick. He dropped a lot of weight through the week, probably because of all the stress on him and such, but he's picked it back up again, which is good because he didn't have enough to lose to begin with. He isn't skinny, skinny, he's healthy, just in good shape and only about 1000 punds, which for a fully grown thoroughbred isn't that much.
For now, I'm going to go read and watch the Olympics.
night.
We go to pick up our schedules tomorrow morning, and to be honest, I'm not that excited. For me, the school year is just a long, drawn out period of time that either flies by or drags its feet the whole way. I'm just not the biggest fan. I have a car now, which means that Allie and I will no longer have to take the bus, which is something that will put a smile on my face, and we have to lug my brother and his friend along, too... They'll be freshmen.
But anyway, aside from that, things are good.
Took Twende to the fair, and came away with three fourth places, a sixth, and a third. Not bad. At all. I was VERY happy with him. I was worried for the first day or two, though, thought he was getting sick. He dropped a lot of weight through the week, probably because of all the stress on him and such, but he's picked it back up again, which is good because he didn't have enough to lose to begin with. He isn't skinny, skinny, he's healthy, just in good shape and only about 1000 punds, which for a fully grown thoroughbred isn't that much.
For now, I'm going to go read and watch the Olympics.
night.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Muses
Trapped.
That word seems to sum up a lot of what I feel, at times. It isn't that I'm not busy enough and am stuck in the house, or even that I really feel trapped, not at all. It's just that at times, I look around myself and wonder what I'm doing with my life... Am I making the most of it? Am I living it to its full potential, or am I wasting it away? Can I really DO anything right now, while I'm still stuck in high school? Maybe once I'm out, it will be better, but I'm not so sure. This whole feeling was only intenified as I walked to Allie's this afternoon because there were no cars for me to drive down at that time... I was walking down her neighborhood after I got off the street, and I was just looking around myself and thinking about nothing...but also about something. I look up at the sky, and it seems almost artificial... I look at the trees and they seem painted on a canvas... Why? Why can nothing seem truely real unless clouds are covering the sky like they do for eight months straight, here? It's probably just the mood I get in sometimes.
The thing is, all I want to do with my life is something that school won't help me with. I want to help people, all people, old, young, drug addicts, over active teens. Everyone. I don't want to stay stationary and I certainly don't want to sit in a cubical all day. I want to help, do something to make me feel better about myself, but mostly to help a person see that they are something, as well.
This feeling had only intensified over the years, as I've had trouble and gotten through some of my own issues, and I asked for no help... Nothing. I wanted no one in my business, and I never let them. And then one of my best friends went through issues worse than mine a few years back, and I didn't know until it was over and done, and I should have... I really should have.
Last year Allie and I met a girl who was new to the school. She was different from everyone, and had one friend who was already there when she came. Her friend was completely different from her, someone I still can't believe she hangs around with... Where one is reserved, the other plasters herself everywhere... where one you could trust with anything, the other goes and tells someone as soon as she can.
Allie and I hit it off with this girl right off, and I could tell that she wasn't exactly...happy. She was acting like my other friend did the year before, but I wasn't friends enough to ask if I could do anything to help. She became closer to us, to the point where we're extremely close, today.
one thing I'll nevr forget her telling me is this...
"Jeni, you and Allie have done so much... I actually know what it's like to have a real friend, now, and I feel like coming to school is something to look forward to instead of something to dread."
It was said nonchalantly, like I should already know it, and being the baby I am, I cried, because all we did was be good friends to her. She stopped cutting... stopped hating and blaming herself for things. If we could help her by just being her friends...what else could we do?
I just finished a book today by the title, "Go Ask Alice." It was the diary of a fifteen year old drug addict, and it was one of the best books I have ever read. I read about anything and everything, and man, this was an awesome read. It was sad, a lot of it made me cry-I'm a baby, remember?-and the way it ended, though I knew it was coming, was a blow. If you're looking for a good read, I reccomend it. There is no listed author, but just google it or go to amazon.
A girl around my age died in a wreck he other day... I didn't know her, but a girl I work with did. It shows you how fragil life is, and how you have to live it and do what you can with the time you have left. She went to my church, and you know? It made me feel almost... elated? Like yeah, she would be fine because she was a practicing Catholic, that God would take care of her.
My, I'm feeling rather inspirational tonight.
God bless,
Jeni
That word seems to sum up a lot of what I feel, at times. It isn't that I'm not busy enough and am stuck in the house, or even that I really feel trapped, not at all. It's just that at times, I look around myself and wonder what I'm doing with my life... Am I making the most of it? Am I living it to its full potential, or am I wasting it away? Can I really DO anything right now, while I'm still stuck in high school? Maybe once I'm out, it will be better, but I'm not so sure. This whole feeling was only intenified as I walked to Allie's this afternoon because there were no cars for me to drive down at that time... I was walking down her neighborhood after I got off the street, and I was just looking around myself and thinking about nothing...but also about something. I look up at the sky, and it seems almost artificial... I look at the trees and they seem painted on a canvas... Why? Why can nothing seem truely real unless clouds are covering the sky like they do for eight months straight, here? It's probably just the mood I get in sometimes.
The thing is, all I want to do with my life is something that school won't help me with. I want to help people, all people, old, young, drug addicts, over active teens. Everyone. I don't want to stay stationary and I certainly don't want to sit in a cubical all day. I want to help, do something to make me feel better about myself, but mostly to help a person see that they are something, as well.
This feeling had only intensified over the years, as I've had trouble and gotten through some of my own issues, and I asked for no help... Nothing. I wanted no one in my business, and I never let them. And then one of my best friends went through issues worse than mine a few years back, and I didn't know until it was over and done, and I should have... I really should have.
Last year Allie and I met a girl who was new to the school. She was different from everyone, and had one friend who was already there when she came. Her friend was completely different from her, someone I still can't believe she hangs around with... Where one is reserved, the other plasters herself everywhere... where one you could trust with anything, the other goes and tells someone as soon as she can.
Allie and I hit it off with this girl right off, and I could tell that she wasn't exactly...happy. She was acting like my other friend did the year before, but I wasn't friends enough to ask if I could do anything to help. She became closer to us, to the point where we're extremely close, today.
one thing I'll nevr forget her telling me is this...
"Jeni, you and Allie have done so much... I actually know what it's like to have a real friend, now, and I feel like coming to school is something to look forward to instead of something to dread."
It was said nonchalantly, like I should already know it, and being the baby I am, I cried, because all we did was be good friends to her. She stopped cutting... stopped hating and blaming herself for things. If we could help her by just being her friends...what else could we do?
I just finished a book today by the title, "Go Ask Alice." It was the diary of a fifteen year old drug addict, and it was one of the best books I have ever read. I read about anything and everything, and man, this was an awesome read. It was sad, a lot of it made me cry-I'm a baby, remember?-and the way it ended, though I knew it was coming, was a blow. If you're looking for a good read, I reccomend it. There is no listed author, but just google it or go to amazon.
A girl around my age died in a wreck he other day... I didn't know her, but a girl I work with did. It shows you how fragil life is, and how you have to live it and do what you can with the time you have left. She went to my church, and you know? It made me feel almost... elated? Like yeah, she would be fine because she was a practicing Catholic, that God would take care of her.
My, I'm feeling rather inspirational tonight.
God bless,
Jeni
Sunday, March 30, 2008
That's Right.
License? Have it.
Braces? Off.
Writing? Working on it. I have a few chapters written and little snipits-which is good, because it's as far as I've ever gotten in writing... Also working on something with Allie, but that's just for fun.
Aendraste? Keiran's amazing. And I'm finally working on another character.
Life? is good.
School? Is back in session.
People? Are pretty much all right at present. The only person I cannot tolerate is a girl who sits at our lunch table. Or, I guess I'm really sitting at their lunch table, as I came this semester. But she doesn't like me for some reason that I can't exactly point out.
Twende? Is my lovely horse....who is losing his hair, and it isn't just shedding. It's falling out. Don't ask...long story, but it should start growing in again now.
Work? Is as bad as usual. I don't know what it is about that place and its ability to completelty stress me out and make me nervous. I want to quit and go somewhere else so badly, but I love, love, LOVE the people I work with, and I don't want to leave them. It's the coustomers I can't handle.
So, everything is pretty good, and I hope it stays like that. There's something nagging at me, and I can't quite place it. It feels wrong, but I don't know how to tell what it is and I have no idea what to do about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm anxious or panicky for no real reason at all, and when I try to think about why I'm feeling like I'm so tense, I can't think of why, but I also can't relax.
It feels like something is building up... But I'm so extremely paranoid that that is probably what it is... But I don't know. Nothing to do but take it as it comes, right?
OH, you should check this out. Sometimes I have too much fun with random stuff, and I really, really love this.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/clichehorrorfilm/
Braces? Off.
Writing? Working on it. I have a few chapters written and little snipits-which is good, because it's as far as I've ever gotten in writing... Also working on something with Allie, but that's just for fun.
Aendraste? Keiran's amazing. And I'm finally working on another character.
Life? is good.
School? Is back in session.
People? Are pretty much all right at present. The only person I cannot tolerate is a girl who sits at our lunch table. Or, I guess I'm really sitting at their lunch table, as I came this semester. But she doesn't like me for some reason that I can't exactly point out.
Twende? Is my lovely horse....who is losing his hair, and it isn't just shedding. It's falling out. Don't ask...long story, but it should start growing in again now.
Work? Is as bad as usual. I don't know what it is about that place and its ability to completelty stress me out and make me nervous. I want to quit and go somewhere else so badly, but I love, love, LOVE the people I work with, and I don't want to leave them. It's the coustomers I can't handle.
So, everything is pretty good, and I hope it stays like that. There's something nagging at me, and I can't quite place it. It feels wrong, but I don't know how to tell what it is and I have no idea what to do about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm anxious or panicky for no real reason at all, and when I try to think about why I'm feeling like I'm so tense, I can't think of why, but I also can't relax.
It feels like something is building up... But I'm so extremely paranoid that that is probably what it is... But I don't know. Nothing to do but take it as it comes, right?
OH, you should check this out. Sometimes I have too much fun with random stuff, and I really, really love this.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/clichehorrorfilm/
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Last Weekend
Life has become increasingly busy for me over the past few weeks. The thing is, though, that I have picked up nothing new, and I'm doing nothing more in anything I've done. Explaination? I'm getting more into things, and getting happier with them as I do so. It used to be like almost a daily motion, but now, I actually realize what I'm doing. It's almost like waking up again.
But why has it felt that way for me? Well, winter almost always does this kind of...for lack of a better word, thing to me. Like I have issues doing everyday things, and I dread things even more. But that point has passed for the time being, and I'm extremely happy it's gone.
Last weekend was amazing, just completely so, and it all started on Thursday night, actually. Thursday night after I got home from the barn, I trecked over to Allie's house so I could spend some time with her on her birthday. We watched Across the Universe, and made the general rounds we do at her house. I had given her her present when we got to school that morning-100 sticky, glow-in-the-dark stars and tickets to see Making April in March [!!!]-so we pretty much just hung out there. Then I went home, went to bed,a nd it was time for Friday. Well, Friday at school was pretty uneventfu, but that night we met our friends at the school and saw Shakespeare Abridged ENCORE. On Saturday night, Allie and I met up with some friends at a resteraunt, hung out there for an hour and half, then went to Walgreens-in dresses and heels, no less, in the snow, then went to the school for the dance. There are some pretty...bad pictures of us there, but we had fun, and every single last one of us was sore the next few days. On Sunday, I had to work, but when I got off, Allie and I went to our friend Carrie's birthday party, and we bowled until midnight, then finally went home and crashed. Monday, we had the day off, and all I did was work on a progect for three hours with Allie, and then reward ourselves with a movie for actually working. We got caught in a white out coming home. Not fun.
anyway...rambles...
bye. =]
But why has it felt that way for me? Well, winter almost always does this kind of...for lack of a better word, thing to me. Like I have issues doing everyday things, and I dread things even more. But that point has passed for the time being, and I'm extremely happy it's gone.
Last weekend was amazing, just completely so, and it all started on Thursday night, actually. Thursday night after I got home from the barn, I trecked over to Allie's house so I could spend some time with her on her birthday. We watched Across the Universe, and made the general rounds we do at her house. I had given her her present when we got to school that morning-100 sticky, glow-in-the-dark stars and tickets to see Making April in March [!!!]-so we pretty much just hung out there. Then I went home, went to bed,a nd it was time for Friday. Well, Friday at school was pretty uneventfu, but that night we met our friends at the school and saw Shakespeare Abridged ENCORE. On Saturday night, Allie and I met up with some friends at a resteraunt, hung out there for an hour and half, then went to Walgreens-in dresses and heels, no less, in the snow, then went to the school for the dance. There are some pretty...bad pictures of us there, but we had fun, and every single last one of us was sore the next few days. On Sunday, I had to work, but when I got off, Allie and I went to our friend Carrie's birthday party, and we bowled until midnight, then finally went home and crashed. Monday, we had the day off, and all I did was work on a progect for three hours with Allie, and then reward ourselves with a movie for actually working. We got caught in a white out coming home. Not fun.
anyway...rambles...
bye. =]
Monday, February 4, 2008
Opinions
Opinions... the grace of God, as I'm sure many people see it. We have the freedom to have one, be it in politics, color, or even religion... We can express those opinions in any way we wish, so long as it does not hurt an individual, or cause a panic, or it seems, if it goes against the general consensus.
I may come off as extremely quiet, but I am so very stubborn and have exceedingly strong opinions. When someone gets me mad or upset, I usually go with these opinions, and in general, people respect what I have to say. There are always those that will disagree, usually, acutally, but they almost always hear you out. Well, I have found evidence that it doesn't matter what my opinion is in one place, because they will shoot me down and gang up on me no matter what I say.
It isn't in an outside world thing I'm speaking of, but on a forum that I found, and a place where I thought it was time to throw in an opinion that differed from everyone else's, and also, because their posts were upsetting me BECAUSE they were just letting things roll off their tongues, putting no thought at all behind them.
All I said was that I don't care who you are, respect is a must to a person in autority, I don't CARE how much you hate them. If you want to disrespect them, do it in a way that isn't completely idiotic, please, and don't sit there complaining about how BAD it is and do NOTHING. I don't sympathize with those people.
GET UP and DO something. And if you can't, then my apologies, but when you CAN, then take a stand.
Oh, and when you're responding to someone who made a rather POLITE comment, don't comment back to me, cursing at me and throwing insults, because I don't care how you say it, and it only makes it look ignortant.
I may come off as extremely quiet, but I am so very stubborn and have exceedingly strong opinions. When someone gets me mad or upset, I usually go with these opinions, and in general, people respect what I have to say. There are always those that will disagree, usually, acutally, but they almost always hear you out. Well, I have found evidence that it doesn't matter what my opinion is in one place, because they will shoot me down and gang up on me no matter what I say.
It isn't in an outside world thing I'm speaking of, but on a forum that I found, and a place where I thought it was time to throw in an opinion that differed from everyone else's, and also, because their posts were upsetting me BECAUSE they were just letting things roll off their tongues, putting no thought at all behind them.
All I said was that I don't care who you are, respect is a must to a person in autority, I don't CARE how much you hate them. If you want to disrespect them, do it in a way that isn't completely idiotic, please, and don't sit there complaining about how BAD it is and do NOTHING. I don't sympathize with those people.
GET UP and DO something. And if you can't, then my apologies, but when you CAN, then take a stand.
Oh, and when you're responding to someone who made a rather POLITE comment, don't comment back to me, cursing at me and throwing insults, because I don't care how you say it, and it only makes it look ignortant.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
In the World of Test Takers
While the last few weeks have been much less than exciting and extremely heart-wrenching, I actually find myself in better spirits than I would have ever though at this point in the game. There isn't much I can do about a lot of the things that have happened lately, and I'm not about to try and change them, because it will only succeed in putting me in one of those awesomely bad moods.
This week I have exams, actually, I'm done with five of them, and I only have two left, but of course, those are the ones that I will not do so well on. On Tuesday, I had my theatre exam first, and geeze, that was not a good way to start out the week. I had to do a project that was due last Thursday, but I was gone all week [except Friday] and got an extension, so I had to present it in the exam period, and then BS my way through an entire semester of theatre history. I'm thinking I didn't do too well on the quiz part. Next was English, which was, surprisingly enough with my teacher, exceedingly easy. Then geometry... oh, geeze, geometry. The bane of my existence, the one subject in which I never cease to say, "Huh?" on a daily basis... and the test was far easier than I EVER expected it to be.
Imagine that.
When we got home after school, Allie and I hung around for an hour then went to crew for Beauty and the Beast, which was pretty much amazing, even if the set IS purple. Last time we went, we were building a cottage, and it fell on me...this time, we were putting up a door, and it fell on me. Good thing I signed that waver, I guess.
Today, I had my journalism exam, which was better than I thought it would be, really. Then, History. I swear, I thought he was going to bite our heads off when Allie and I asked him to sign out Challenge Day things...geeze, man, get a sense of humor, please. And then we were done at 11:10! Ole!
Tomorrow, I have biology and Spanish...both of which I would never reccomend to anyone.
I'm off to study, good bye, all.
This week I have exams, actually, I'm done with five of them, and I only have two left, but of course, those are the ones that I will not do so well on. On Tuesday, I had my theatre exam first, and geeze, that was not a good way to start out the week. I had to do a project that was due last Thursday, but I was gone all week [except Friday] and got an extension, so I had to present it in the exam period, and then BS my way through an entire semester of theatre history. I'm thinking I didn't do too well on the quiz part. Next was English, which was, surprisingly enough with my teacher, exceedingly easy. Then geometry... oh, geeze, geometry. The bane of my existence, the one subject in which I never cease to say, "Huh?" on a daily basis... and the test was far easier than I EVER expected it to be.
Imagine that.
When we got home after school, Allie and I hung around for an hour then went to crew for Beauty and the Beast, which was pretty much amazing, even if the set IS purple. Last time we went, we were building a cottage, and it fell on me...this time, we were putting up a door, and it fell on me. Good thing I signed that waver, I guess.
Today, I had my journalism exam, which was better than I thought it would be, really. Then, History. I swear, I thought he was going to bite our heads off when Allie and I asked him to sign out Challenge Day things...geeze, man, get a sense of humor, please. And then we were done at 11:10! Ole!
Tomorrow, I have biology and Spanish...both of which I would never reccomend to anyone.
I'm off to study, good bye, all.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sarcastic Complaints
Did I really think that nothing could ever be as bad as four hours in a classroom, learning about the rules and laws of driving? Those six days never seemed like they would end, and when they finally did, all I felt like was that I had wasted twenty-four hours of my life, learning things I already knew. But what else can I do, I thought to myself. There is no way I'm waiting until I'm eighteen to get my licence.
Oh, silly Jeni. There are things much worse than wasting time in a classroom, and they come in the form of in-cars.
For those who have no idea what these are, they're just when a driving instructor comes to pick you up at your home, and you drive around with them in the car for two hours. Seems harmless, yes? Wrong. I am a mostly anti-social person who will not really speak unless spoken to, and even then I need some prodding. Yes, I realize that this is not good, my parents have told me, but in all honesty, where else have I learned it from rather than them? They're almost worse than I am, so I want to hear nothing else.
Anyway, she came and picked me up, and I got yelled at as soon as I sat down, because I "approached the car from the wrong direction." ... I'm sorry that my house is on the right side of the car, ma'am, but excuse me, I'll make sure to come at you from the woods next time. Of course, I didn't say this, I just apologized and started to adjust things. Then she asked to see my temps, and I got the card and the paper out. When I handed her the paper, she held it for a second, looking at me, and I her. That went on for about thirty seconds before I said, "Um..." And she rolled her eyes and turned to the paper, leaving me there bewildered. Um, thanks?
Then she proceeded to walk me through starting the car like I was five. Thank, lady, but I've driven before, and I don't need you to walk me through it step by step... Yes, I do know how to put the keys in, thanks for asking. No, really? I have to adjust the mirror so I can see out of it? Huh. I have to scoot the seat up so I can reach the pedals, who would have 'thunk? Sarcasm aside, I knew all this, and she told me as I was trying to do it. The car is unfamiliar, I'm used to driving a big jeep or van, so bare with me as I downscale.
Maneuverability.... oh, god, it will be the death of me. Guess how many cones I knocked down? Just guess .
That's right-two, knocked them down and dragged them. Guess how many I hit? Two. Lucky numbed, eh? Two hours in the car, two cones knocked down, two cones hit!
In all fairness, it was my first time ever, but did she have to be so rude about it? "*sigh* No, Jeni, the other way!" "STOP!" "Stop the car. Turn it off. Now get out and set the cones up again, and don't you dare knock them over again." "Are you aggravated? Yes? Well, you shouldn't get that way."
*fume*
Maybe not so bad sounding, but you know what? It all has to do with the voice they use while they say it, and I thought I was going to leap across the seat and stangle her.
When it was finally over, I had to go pick up another kid who's about my age. No big deal, right? Maybe not for those of you who enjoy meeting new people, those who love introductions. She made us stand outside of the effing car, shake hands, and introduce ourselves. Guess who wanted to go lay down in front of the next passing car by this time?
Now I'm home, finally, but I don't get to chill out. No, instead I have to go work for six hours, and do it all over again tomorrow. Whoever comes today at work had best be nice, because I'm already livid enough that I could hit something....
Until next time,
Jeni
Oh, silly Jeni. There are things much worse than wasting time in a classroom, and they come in the form of in-cars.
For those who have no idea what these are, they're just when a driving instructor comes to pick you up at your home, and you drive around with them in the car for two hours. Seems harmless, yes? Wrong. I am a mostly anti-social person who will not really speak unless spoken to, and even then I need some prodding. Yes, I realize that this is not good, my parents have told me, but in all honesty, where else have I learned it from rather than them? They're almost worse than I am, so I want to hear nothing else.
Anyway, she came and picked me up, and I got yelled at as soon as I sat down, because I "approached the car from the wrong direction." ... I'm sorry that my house is on the right side of the car, ma'am, but excuse me, I'll make sure to come at you from the woods next time. Of course, I didn't say this, I just apologized and started to adjust things. Then she asked to see my temps, and I got the card and the paper out. When I handed her the paper, she held it for a second, looking at me, and I her. That went on for about thirty seconds before I said, "Um..." And she rolled her eyes and turned to the paper, leaving me there bewildered. Um, thanks?
Then she proceeded to walk me through starting the car like I was five. Thank, lady, but I've driven before, and I don't need you to walk me through it step by step... Yes, I do know how to put the keys in, thanks for asking. No, really? I have to adjust the mirror so I can see out of it? Huh. I have to scoot the seat up so I can reach the pedals, who would have 'thunk? Sarcasm aside, I knew all this, and she told me as I was trying to do it. The car is unfamiliar, I'm used to driving a big jeep or van, so bare with me as I downscale.
Maneuverability.... oh, god, it will be the death of me. Guess how many cones I knocked down? Just guess .
That's right-two, knocked them down and dragged them. Guess how many I hit? Two. Lucky numbed, eh? Two hours in the car, two cones knocked down, two cones hit!
In all fairness, it was my first time ever, but did she have to be so rude about it? "*sigh* No, Jeni, the other way!" "STOP!" "Stop the car. Turn it off. Now get out and set the cones up again, and don't you dare knock them over again." "Are you aggravated? Yes? Well, you shouldn't get that way."
*fume*
Maybe not so bad sounding, but you know what? It all has to do with the voice they use while they say it, and I thought I was going to leap across the seat and stangle her.
When it was finally over, I had to go pick up another kid who's about my age. No big deal, right? Maybe not for those of you who enjoy meeting new people, those who love introductions. She made us stand outside of the effing car, shake hands, and introduce ourselves. Guess who wanted to go lay down in front of the next passing car by this time?
Now I'm home, finally, but I don't get to chill out. No, instead I have to go work for six hours, and do it all over again tomorrow. Whoever comes today at work had best be nice, because I'm already livid enough that I could hit something....
Until next time,
Jeni
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Illness and lack of good judgement
Eck. If ever you wanted to torture me for some reason, find a way to get me sick.
I don't get sick, ever. In the last five years, I've only missed school once [now twice] because I felt bad enough to be in bed all day. Thursday night/Friday morning, I shook for three hours before I had enough sense to down some advil. Then, I told my dad, "There is no way I am going to school today." and went back to bed. I slept in until noon, which I haven't done in ages, then I went to the barn, where I felt so dizzy I nearly fell off, and then I went home to make myself look lively enough that my parents would allow me to go out with Shelby and Allie.
We went downtown to the Cafe on campus to see a school band that plays a bunch of classic rock covers, and a lot of their own music. We're friends with the bassist, who is pretty much amazing, and we watched them perform there. They were supposed to go on at eight, but the band before them played over, so they were forced to cut their set short, they had another show they had to go to, and Shelby, Allie, and I sat in the front, and there were probably about twenty people watching them. After they played at the Cafe, we followed the band to the undercroft of a church to watch their second set. That was even better, because they did a The Who cover, a Boston cover, and a The Eagles cover, plus some of their new and older music.
Then, we all came back to my house until about midnight, when they went home and I crashed. This morning, I'm still feeling dizzy and light headed, and know it was probably against my better judgement to go out last night, but, you know? I don't care. =]
I'm going to go watch the game, now. [I know! Jeni and football? It seems inconceivable]
I don't get sick, ever. In the last five years, I've only missed school once [now twice] because I felt bad enough to be in bed all day. Thursday night/Friday morning, I shook for three hours before I had enough sense to down some advil. Then, I told my dad, "There is no way I am going to school today." and went back to bed. I slept in until noon, which I haven't done in ages, then I went to the barn, where I felt so dizzy I nearly fell off, and then I went home to make myself look lively enough that my parents would allow me to go out with Shelby and Allie.
We went downtown to the Cafe on campus to see a school band that plays a bunch of classic rock covers, and a lot of their own music. We're friends with the bassist, who is pretty much amazing, and we watched them perform there. They were supposed to go on at eight, but the band before them played over, so they were forced to cut their set short, they had another show they had to go to, and Shelby, Allie, and I sat in the front, and there were probably about twenty people watching them. After they played at the Cafe, we followed the band to the undercroft of a church to watch their second set. That was even better, because they did a The Who cover, a Boston cover, and a The Eagles cover, plus some of their new and older music.
Then, we all came back to my house until about midnight, when they went home and I crashed. This morning, I'm still feeling dizzy and light headed, and know it was probably against my better judgement to go out last night, but, you know? I don't care. =]
I'm going to go watch the game, now. [I know! Jeni and football? It seems inconceivable]
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
On Why Biology Sucks/Paramore Concert
My effing lab group... *fumes* I'm going to kill them. All of them except Kenzie.
So, I went up to one kid today in math and said, "Okay, I saved the powerpoint in this place, and this is what you do. If you don't understand it, look at the bottom of that sheet he gave us last week, it explains it all."
Parker and Kenzie were supposed to meet me in the lab sixth period.
So, I get to the lab, and I'm the only one there. Of course. I look at the powerpoint, which is due next period, and see, to my utter disbelief, that Martin not only added more pictures of fungi and flowers that we DIDN'T need, but he failed to add ANY information AT ALL.
So, fuming, I wait for Kenzie to come, because I knew she would show up sooner or later, and fix thigns around, adding info here and there. Well, when she finally gets there, I'm frustrated as can be, because the computer was shutting down on me, and I hadn't saved it because it WOULDN'T save, for some reason. So, she gets there and sees that I'm about to burst, I'm so mad.
Parker never showed up.
Anyway, I looked at Kenzie and shook my head and said, "I'm done. If they want to fail, then fine, let them fail. I'll turn it in late, and they'll get no credit. I'll be sure of it."
Kenzie nodded, and we worked a few moments longer, and we both left, me fuming and getting ready to yell at Parker and Martin.
So, I get into biology, and my friend looks at me and says, "Um..Jeni, are you okay?" So, I told her what happened. She asked me what I was going to do, and all I said was, "You'll hear."
So, I sit down at the table next to Kenzie, facing the boys. I didn't look at them at all. Then Martin looks my way and says, "Did you finish?" I said, calmly, "Nope." They exhanged a look and said, "Why not?!"
I looked to them and said, voice still calm, only deadly calm this time, if I'm being honest, "You two were supposed to have been working on this project for the last four days. All you have done are two ten second videos. *nod at Marin* You came in at fourth period and did NOTHING but add pictures we didn't need! YOU- *glares at Parker* were supposed to be in the lab today, and YOU never showed." By this time, my voice had gotten louder, and pretty much everyone was staring at us. At any other point in time, I would have shut up, but here, I was wayyyyy too mad to stop.
Martin had the nerve to say to me, "Well, I didn't know what to do."
Voice now turning nasty and angry, I said, "I TOLD you what to do! And I said that if you didn't understand to LOOK AT YOUR PAPER!!!" He then says, "Well, I didn't understand the paper." I just looked at him and repeated, voice quiet again, "Oh, you didn't get it?" Him, "No, I didn't get it." So, I pulled my paper out and put it right in front of him and said, "Read it." Parker was watching me like he was afraid I was going to kill someone, and this girl Jordan, Kenzie, and my friend Rachel were all standing to the side, laughing at them, because no one has ever called them out so publicly before.
Martin says, "I already did," while glaring at me.
I took it back and said, "Oh, yeah." Then I proceeded to read the last sentence of the paragraph, where it clearly explains what exactly to write for each slide picture. Then I leaned forward across my desk toward him and said, "Guess you didn't read quite far enough."
Jordan laughs out really loud and can hardly contain her giggles when Parker looks at Martin and says, "Wow. She's really pissed at you."
I looked at him and said, "YOU didn't show up at lunch."
Then Jordan comes up to me and says, "You know, he changed the due date. It now isn't due till Friday."
Oh, yes, helped my mood wonderfully.
Then she said, "But thank you for yelling at them. They were in my lab group before, and they never did anything. They deserve it."
Martin sits next to me in eigth period Spanish, right after biology... He hasn't said or looked at me since then.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Last night, Allie and I trecked downtown for the Paramore concert. We got in line around six, and doors were to open at six-thirty. When we got there, we ran into one of our friends who started going to the other high school this year, Pat. She was in line with a girl who was really, really annoying, but she got lost in the pit during the concert, so all was well.
Along came Alyssa and Sam, and they stood with us, sort of unwelcome guests because of their morals, but fun because of their attitues.
Doors opened, and we headed straight for the pit, getting in about five or six people back, right in the middle. We stood around for better than an hour as people gathered around us, squeezing us more tightly together. We laughed, joked, Sam got into a fight with a girl who kept yelling at him for no reason *eye roll directed at BOTH of them* ... Fun stuff.
The Starting Line played, and there was supposed to be another band, but their van broke down, so The Starting Line played a full set. When they came on, and they were really, really good, the pit started moving, and, I cna't help it, I loved it.
The funny thign about pits is though it looks like if you fell you'd get plowed over, that really isn't the case. Some girl got dropped right next to me while crowd surfing, and everyone within a three foot radius turned and stopped to make sure she was okay and help her up. Even Sam picked a kid up off the ground.
anyway, they go on, and there's dangerous swaying going on.. Sort of like one sides pushing with all its force against the other-it was really sort of scary, and at one point, half of the middle part of the pit actually fell over. At that point, every single person stopped moshing and helped everyone up. As Green Day once put it, "You gotta look out for each other out there." And that's what they did. Honestly, it made me happy...though I was holding tight on to Allie who was holding tight to Patty to make sure she didn't fall, and I was holding on to the guy beside me, and he was making sure I didn't fall.
Hehe.
Anyway, Paramore came on, and, suddenly, we're like...three people back, and all the way to the side, where it isn't as rough. Which is good, for me. Because my arms and muscles now ache today because the entire time The Starting Line was on, I didn't have enough room to put my right arm down, and, when I did, my left didn't have enough space to cram into.
Paramore was amazing, and they played equal songs form both records, and, even though Allie, Patty, and I were three of like...ten people to know the old stuff, we sang loud and clear...
I love concerts so much.
Night!
So, I went up to one kid today in math and said, "Okay, I saved the powerpoint in this place, and this is what you do. If you don't understand it, look at the bottom of that sheet he gave us last week, it explains it all."
Parker and Kenzie were supposed to meet me in the lab sixth period.
So, I get to the lab, and I'm the only one there. Of course. I look at the powerpoint, which is due next period, and see, to my utter disbelief, that Martin not only added more pictures of fungi and flowers that we DIDN'T need, but he failed to add ANY information AT ALL.
So, fuming, I wait for Kenzie to come, because I knew she would show up sooner or later, and fix thigns around, adding info here and there. Well, when she finally gets there, I'm frustrated as can be, because the computer was shutting down on me, and I hadn't saved it because it WOULDN'T save, for some reason. So, she gets there and sees that I'm about to burst, I'm so mad.
Parker never showed up.
Anyway, I looked at Kenzie and shook my head and said, "I'm done. If they want to fail, then fine, let them fail. I'll turn it in late, and they'll get no credit. I'll be sure of it."
Kenzie nodded, and we worked a few moments longer, and we both left, me fuming and getting ready to yell at Parker and Martin.
So, I get into biology, and my friend looks at me and says, "Um..Jeni, are you okay?" So, I told her what happened. She asked me what I was going to do, and all I said was, "You'll hear."
So, I sit down at the table next to Kenzie, facing the boys. I didn't look at them at all. Then Martin looks my way and says, "Did you finish?" I said, calmly, "Nope." They exhanged a look and said, "Why not?!"
I looked to them and said, voice still calm, only deadly calm this time, if I'm being honest, "You two were supposed to have been working on this project for the last four days. All you have done are two ten second videos. *nod at Marin* You came in at fourth period and did NOTHING but add pictures we didn't need! YOU- *glares at Parker* were supposed to be in the lab today, and YOU never showed." By this time, my voice had gotten louder, and pretty much everyone was staring at us. At any other point in time, I would have shut up, but here, I was wayyyyy too mad to stop.
Martin had the nerve to say to me, "Well, I didn't know what to do."
Voice now turning nasty and angry, I said, "I TOLD you what to do! And I said that if you didn't understand to LOOK AT YOUR PAPER!!!" He then says, "Well, I didn't understand the paper." I just looked at him and repeated, voice quiet again, "Oh, you didn't get it?" Him, "No, I didn't get it." So, I pulled my paper out and put it right in front of him and said, "Read it." Parker was watching me like he was afraid I was going to kill someone, and this girl Jordan, Kenzie, and my friend Rachel were all standing to the side, laughing at them, because no one has ever called them out so publicly before.
Martin says, "I already did," while glaring at me.
I took it back and said, "Oh, yeah." Then I proceeded to read the last sentence of the paragraph, where it clearly explains what exactly to write for each slide picture. Then I leaned forward across my desk toward him and said, "Guess you didn't read quite far enough."
Jordan laughs out really loud and can hardly contain her giggles when Parker looks at Martin and says, "Wow. She's really pissed at you."
I looked at him and said, "YOU didn't show up at lunch."
Then Jordan comes up to me and says, "You know, he changed the due date. It now isn't due till Friday."
Oh, yes, helped my mood wonderfully.
Then she said, "But thank you for yelling at them. They were in my lab group before, and they never did anything. They deserve it."
Martin sits next to me in eigth period Spanish, right after biology... He hasn't said or looked at me since then.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Last night, Allie and I trecked downtown for the Paramore concert. We got in line around six, and doors were to open at six-thirty. When we got there, we ran into one of our friends who started going to the other high school this year, Pat. She was in line with a girl who was really, really annoying, but she got lost in the pit during the concert, so all was well.
Along came Alyssa and Sam, and they stood with us, sort of unwelcome guests because of their morals, but fun because of their attitues.
Doors opened, and we headed straight for the pit, getting in about five or six people back, right in the middle. We stood around for better than an hour as people gathered around us, squeezing us more tightly together. We laughed, joked, Sam got into a fight with a girl who kept yelling at him for no reason *eye roll directed at BOTH of them* ... Fun stuff.
The Starting Line played, and there was supposed to be another band, but their van broke down, so The Starting Line played a full set. When they came on, and they were really, really good, the pit started moving, and, I cna't help it, I loved it.
The funny thign about pits is though it looks like if you fell you'd get plowed over, that really isn't the case. Some girl got dropped right next to me while crowd surfing, and everyone within a three foot radius turned and stopped to make sure she was okay and help her up. Even Sam picked a kid up off the ground.
anyway, they go on, and there's dangerous swaying going on.. Sort of like one sides pushing with all its force against the other-it was really sort of scary, and at one point, half of the middle part of the pit actually fell over. At that point, every single person stopped moshing and helped everyone up. As Green Day once put it, "You gotta look out for each other out there." And that's what they did. Honestly, it made me happy...though I was holding tight on to Allie who was holding tight to Patty to make sure she didn't fall, and I was holding on to the guy beside me, and he was making sure I didn't fall.
Hehe.
Anyway, Paramore came on, and, suddenly, we're like...three people back, and all the way to the side, where it isn't as rough. Which is good, for me. Because my arms and muscles now ache today because the entire time The Starting Line was on, I didn't have enough room to put my right arm down, and, when I did, my left didn't have enough space to cram into.
Paramore was amazing, and they played equal songs form both records, and, even though Allie, Patty, and I were three of like...ten people to know the old stuff, we sang loud and clear...
I love concerts so much.
Night!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Several Things At Once
Here, my friends, is the perfect example of why I do not like people...
In my biology class, we're doing a ridiculous power point in which there has to be better than fifty slides. It's annoying. At the same time, we have a fungus lab, and about a million other papers to do. At our lab tables, we find our groups-I have three other people; two my age and one freshman. Now, I didn't like these two boys who are my age before I was their lab partner, and now I want to wring their necks.
They were working on the powerpoint, and Kenzie and I were working on the lab. I kept asking them, for the past week, "You're sure you're okay with that?" They responded, "Yeah, we're doing pretty well on it."
So, I get to class today, and this is due tomorow, and I look at them and ask if they've finished it yet so I know what I have to work on because they won't do it... They exchange a glance and look at me and don't say anything.
*twitch*
They got the full rage of Jeni thrust upon them, and I'm forcing them both to come in and work in it during their fourth period study hall, one of them I'm forcing to come in furing his fifth period lunch, and the other one is coming to the lab with the freshman and myself to work on it sixth period.
I told them, and they don't believe me when I say this, that I would march right down to wheverever they are, and walk them down to the lab like they're first graders.
If I fail this class because of them, I will wring their necks.
Anyway...
Besides that, the school day went by pretty smoothly and without any major things happening.
And tonight is party night... Allie and I are going to march down to the old concert venue and see Paramore tonight... We are levaing in twenty-four minutes and will stand there for an hour before they let us in... Here, in my small little town, it is freaking fifty degrees out, in the sun.
Wish us luck.
In my biology class, we're doing a ridiculous power point in which there has to be better than fifty slides. It's annoying. At the same time, we have a fungus lab, and about a million other papers to do. At our lab tables, we find our groups-I have three other people; two my age and one freshman. Now, I didn't like these two boys who are my age before I was their lab partner, and now I want to wring their necks.
They were working on the powerpoint, and Kenzie and I were working on the lab. I kept asking them, for the past week, "You're sure you're okay with that?" They responded, "Yeah, we're doing pretty well on it."
So, I get to class today, and this is due tomorow, and I look at them and ask if they've finished it yet so I know what I have to work on because they won't do it... They exchange a glance and look at me and don't say anything.
*twitch*
They got the full rage of Jeni thrust upon them, and I'm forcing them both to come in and work in it during their fourth period study hall, one of them I'm forcing to come in furing his fifth period lunch, and the other one is coming to the lab with the freshman and myself to work on it sixth period.
I told them, and they don't believe me when I say this, that I would march right down to wheverever they are, and walk them down to the lab like they're first graders.
If I fail this class because of them, I will wring their necks.
Anyway...
Besides that, the school day went by pretty smoothly and without any major things happening.
And tonight is party night... Allie and I are going to march down to the old concert venue and see Paramore tonight... We are levaing in twenty-four minutes and will stand there for an hour before they let us in... Here, in my small little town, it is freaking fifty degrees out, in the sun.
Wish us luck.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Fun,Fun.
Hm, a particularly devious feeling has come over me in the last few days. I feel like I want to break out and just cause mayhem... Test things that are probably best left alone. But, alas, I am the quiet sixteen-year-old in the back of the room and no one cares. And I'm okay with that, surprisingly enough. Today, and the past few days, really, I have been testing my theory that Ryan is no longer speaking to me. The boy I used to shy away form because he caused me so much distress has been the one I traget these past few days, because, after Homecoming in which I actually slapped him to make him leave me alone, he hasn't even glanced in my direction. I have walked right in front of him, said hi, smiled, but he hasn't said a word or looked in my direction at all.
A change for the better, I must say.
Another person I have been taking this odd mood out on is Amanda... By testing another theory. We haven't spoken now for nearly eight months now, after she sent her "break-up letter," as Allie and I call it, and we are now sharing the same school. I see her a lot, but we never look at each other, and we never exchange words. I've stayed true to that and have just been...walking out in front of her a lot, to see if she'll say anything.
Yes, I am a dork and I do realize that. Just let me have my entertainment, please. =]
Spanish is pretty mcuh killing me, now, and I actually have to go in a few mornings a week to get help with it because I'm doing to horribly. That's life. I told my mom and all she said was, "I failed algebra once."
Hm... What else? I have to work on Halloween, which completely sucks, because I already had plans. But, on the up side, the Paramore concert is on Monday night, and I'm completely excited for that, even though the two mentioned above will be there. No worries, though, because, if my theories hold true, they won't say a word to me.
I've started helping my intructor to train on this one four-year-old Quarter Horse who is broke, but doesn't know how to do much. He's insane, but cute. Hard to ride, but fun because of the challenge. I'll bet you I'll get bucked off or something tomorrow. He tests me, like Twende used to, and I refuse to let him get away with it, so he's been getting mad at me.
Work is better, because now I know that the people I work with actually like me. They aren't a very affectionate group of people, but my aunt, who got me the job in the first place, was tlaking to them and they said, randomly, that they really liked to work with me, so that made my day. Another thing that really made my day was my English teacher, my friend Philip, and a girl in my English class all told me that they really liked my paper and the way it was written. [A new ending for The Scarlet Letter since the original is just so darn depressing]
But now I am off to go grab some food and go to bed to get ready to endure another day of school....and biology...which is the only class, ever, that I've ever wanted to cry during because I just don't get what he's saying, he's so spastic!
Night!
^.^
A change for the better, I must say.
Another person I have been taking this odd mood out on is Amanda... By testing another theory. We haven't spoken now for nearly eight months now, after she sent her "break-up letter," as Allie and I call it, and we are now sharing the same school. I see her a lot, but we never look at each other, and we never exchange words. I've stayed true to that and have just been...walking out in front of her a lot, to see if she'll say anything.
Yes, I am a dork and I do realize that. Just let me have my entertainment, please. =]
Spanish is pretty mcuh killing me, now, and I actually have to go in a few mornings a week to get help with it because I'm doing to horribly. That's life. I told my mom and all she said was, "I failed algebra once."
Hm... What else? I have to work on Halloween, which completely sucks, because I already had plans. But, on the up side, the Paramore concert is on Monday night, and I'm completely excited for that, even though the two mentioned above will be there. No worries, though, because, if my theories hold true, they won't say a word to me.
I've started helping my intructor to train on this one four-year-old Quarter Horse who is broke, but doesn't know how to do much. He's insane, but cute. Hard to ride, but fun because of the challenge. I'll bet you I'll get bucked off or something tomorrow. He tests me, like Twende used to, and I refuse to let him get away with it, so he's been getting mad at me.
Work is better, because now I know that the people I work with actually like me. They aren't a very affectionate group of people, but my aunt, who got me the job in the first place, was tlaking to them and they said, randomly, that they really liked to work with me, so that made my day. Another thing that really made my day was my English teacher, my friend Philip, and a girl in my English class all told me that they really liked my paper and the way it was written. [A new ending for The Scarlet Letter since the original is just so darn depressing]
But now I am off to go grab some food and go to bed to get ready to endure another day of school....and biology...which is the only class, ever, that I've ever wanted to cry during because I just don't get what he's saying, he's so spastic!
Night!
^.^
Monday, October 15, 2007
From Bio Class To Robin Hood
Okay, first off for something no one but me will understand. ^^ Because I'm cool like that.
He's too immature?? And because of that he isn't your type? Don't make me laugh. He's exactly your type, immaturity and all.
You're tired of losing people? Well, let's see whose fault that is... Oh, yeah. YOURS.
Yes, sweetie, I still stalk you through the forum because I like to know what's going on in your life, even if you hate me. =]
*/pointless laughing on my part because she was apparently "in love"*
Anyway, on to different stuff.
My horse is lame...AGAIN. The guy who can fix him is coming up on Thursday, and it's pretty inexpensive, but he's good at what he does, so all should be fine.
I think I actually may have NOT failed my third Spanish test...*crosses fingers, hopefully*
Somehow I'm passing biology... He can't read through all of what we write-he just can't. I have NO idea what I'm doing half the time.
So, over the weekend was the first play of the year. Allie and I helped pass out programs and were stage crew, so it was pretty fun.
Except that the man who runs construction crew [which we were also on] has his son, a freshman, come and help, so the kid was there all weekend. Allie and I have picked up YET another unwelcome fan... =\
Why? No idea. I am mean, and I admit it.
Robin Hood is MIA. It was supposed to start on the sixth, but it never came on...sadness. Hopefully it'll come around, sooner or later.
Off to work on the endless amounts of homework.
*waves*
He's too immature?? And because of that he isn't your type? Don't make me laugh. He's exactly your type, immaturity and all.
You're tired of losing people? Well, let's see whose fault that is... Oh, yeah. YOURS.
Yes, sweetie, I still stalk you through the forum because I like to know what's going on in your life, even if you hate me. =]
*/pointless laughing on my part because she was apparently "in love"*
Anyway, on to different stuff.
My horse is lame...AGAIN. The guy who can fix him is coming up on Thursday, and it's pretty inexpensive, but he's good at what he does, so all should be fine.
I think I actually may have NOT failed my third Spanish test...*crosses fingers, hopefully*
Somehow I'm passing biology... He can't read through all of what we write-he just can't. I have NO idea what I'm doing half the time.
So, over the weekend was the first play of the year. Allie and I helped pass out programs and were stage crew, so it was pretty fun.
Except that the man who runs construction crew [which we were also on] has his son, a freshman, come and help, so the kid was there all weekend. Allie and I have picked up YET another unwelcome fan... =\
Why? No idea. I am mean, and I admit it.
Robin Hood is MIA. It was supposed to start on the sixth, but it never came on...sadness. Hopefully it'll come around, sooner or later.
Off to work on the endless amounts of homework.
*waves*
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